So - here you go!
Pant… pant… pant… in through the mouth… out through the nose… mouth… nose… I concentrate on keeping my breathing even as I skirt around the brush growing in the middle of the path. My feet falter at the effort and I right myself to continue on at a slightly slower pace. The humidity in the jungle seems to be twice as bad as normal even though it is still early in the day. I can feel my tank top sticking to my back as the sweat runs in rivulets down my spine and the flyaway hairs from my ponytail continue to stick to my back as it swings back and forth. Even my running shorts are soaked from the moisture in the air.
I think to myself that rain is probably in the near future as I feel the now familiar tingle in the middle of my back. One of them is watching me again. I would sigh, but I don’t have the extra breath.
Pulling on the limited reserves I have left, I put even more effort into my run, wanting to make it out of the jungle before whoever is there decides to try and talk to me. The last thing I want is to have any sort of conversation with them right now, or anytime in the near future really.
The anger starts to bubble in the pit of my stomach and the hurt tightens my chest again as it does every time I think of what they did. I know that it has been two months and I need to move on, I need to forgive, but my heart still feels betrayed. What happened is forgivable, just not yet.
Seeing the edge of town through the thinning jungle makes me push myself just a little harder. After just this short amount of time since we got here, the jungle already almost feels normal, at least during the day it does. During the day, people move around the silent streets of town and work together to give some sense of normalcy. Waking up to find our entire town moved to the middle of a jungle, to evidently escape a storm, was a mind rattling experience. I’m glad so many were able to pick up the pieces and make what is left of our town livable again.
I can hear someone following behind me through the jungle and understand that they want me to know they are there or I would never hear them. This is their native land and they know most of this area like the back of their hands. I can still remember how they moved so effortlessly and silently through the jungle and back to town during our failed rescue mission.
My heart gives a little tug like it always does when I think of Kae and Jay living with the strange village. I still can’t believe they didn’t trust me and refused to come back to town with me.
As I burst through the boundary the jungle makes around town I can feel my breath coming out of me in sharp spikes and it takes my mind off of my heartache. I slow knowing whoever was in the jungle will not follow me any further. I’m tempted to turn and look, curious if it is Haki or Kiwi that was following me, but I don’t want to give them the satisfaction.
Slowly jogging through one of the several abandoned parts of town, I look around at the area. It is amazing that so much has changed while so much still stays the same. The damage from the storm that moved us here has basically been picked up and most was used for other purposes. I still get a little teary when I think of how much damage must have happened to the town we left behind and the worry those still there must have for all of us here. Considering how much damage this town had and we were moved before the storm actually hit, that one had to be bad. I often wonder if they are still looking for our bodies or if they have finally given up. My hope is my note brought some sort of peace to some of those still there, but there is no way to even know if it made it, let alone if they found it.
Looking around this part of town, I smile as I see all the houses now have two ‘x’s on the doors. The red ones are from the initial search for people trapped just to let others know there was no one inside. Most houses in town have that red ‘x’. On the uninhabited houses, there are newer black ‘x’s that mean they have been cleared of any useable items. These houses all but disappear in the grass that now waves in the breeze 6 to 7 foot tall. The stock of clothing, canned goods, and personal care items that have been moved to the store should keep us quite a while. Especially since so many survivors have started adapting to the area and using the natural items found here.
Survivors. Never thought I’d say that of the people from my own hometown, but that is what we are doing, surviving.
Going through the empty houses had been hard. For most, every house they entered was a reminder of what was left behind. Walking through entryways and dining rooms, you can’t help but see the family photos on the walls, the baby toys in the corners, and the matchbox cars that were obviously halfway through a chase in the middle of the carpet.
In almost every house I recognized at least one person in the photos. There is the girl who was two grades below me in school and always said “hi” to everyone with a big smile. There is the young boy that I met one Saturday hanging out at Kae and Jay’s house. And there is the lady I smiled at regularly when I saw her at the store. She always seemed to be buying milk and bread. I have always appreciated that I knew most of the people in town, but when you are getting ready to riffle through their pantry, it becomes awkward.
The photos were not the worst part, and certainly not the most heart stopping. Every house with baby toys made my heart go into my throat. I realized we had gone through every house known to have a small child or baby within the first day after The Move. I’ve always worried we missed one. Every time I saw baby toys, I had to go look, my heart aching while threatening to stop in my chest, just to make sure. Thankfully, my fears were always for nothing. And every time I was even more thankful that we did take the time to look for additional survivors in those first hours. We could have so easily done many other things instead.
I never knew how personal a person’s food was until I started digging through their cabinets. The super fit mom that had bags and bags of candy bars hidden behind the canned goods, or the really “good” family everyone looked up to that had five bottles of liquor behind the hamburger buns. Everyone seemed to have a secret, even my sweet old neighbor that apparently had a strange love of canned tuna by the multiple shelves stocked full of it found in her kitchen cabinet.
Even more personal was that the bedroom doors always seemed to be wide open. Wide open to the clothes tossed on the floor, or the garage sale items piled in the corner, or the stuff they just didn’t know what else to do with. These personal messes, that no one else was ever supposed to see, made me miss my neighbors and friends even more. As I walked by, I would shut these doors and leave all those personal items behind.
Others would go through the bedrooms and pull out useable items – clothing, shoes, bedding. I realized that was probably smart, but I’ve always considered the bedroom to be the most private and personal space in any house. Going into someone’s bedroom was always awkward and weird to me unless I knew them extremely well. I told myself if I get desperate for clothes or sheets, I could always go back and see if anything is left.
Continuing on my run, the closer I get to the middle of town there are fewer and fewer black ‘x’s and I can see more and more evidence of the adapting most have embraced. Almost all the houses now have gardens of native vegetables and fruits in the yards close to the street, the largest ones in the homes that are actually occupied and tended to on a daily basis. I can see baskets of the fruits and vegetables at the ends of the rows waiting to be taken inside or to the store.
Most people have moved into the houses closer to the middle of town even if their home is still standing and livable after everything that happened. No one lives on the outskirts anymore with the threat of the jungle and the animals that live in it so close. Several people have also moved into the larger homes together communal style just so they don’t have to be alone.
In that first day, the search teams ended up finding four young kids aged two through eight trapped in their houses and two young teenagers hiding in theirs scared of what was happening and not wanting to come out. There was a lot of discussion at first as to what needed to happen in regards to the kids – with no one knowing what tomorrow might bring, everyone was reluctant to take on that responsibility. It was also unknown how the kids were going to handle being here without their parents, siblings, or any family of any kind.
Finally, a group of women that had moved into one of the largest houses in the center of town offered to take care of them. It was perfect really. The house is a massive 8 bedroom red brick home that not only received little damage from the storm, but the owner also was not moved with the rest of us.
My heart gives a painful squeeze remembering that two of the women left young children behind. I often wonder how they cope with the not knowing – not knowing about my parents is bad enough, I try to not think about it much.
Staying in my own home seemed natural to me since it is out of what is now considered the “Green Zone” or the danger area. Since we were both here alone, it seemed only natural when Cam moved in with me. He took over my parent’s room as his own. It was very awkward at first – knowing he was sleeping just across the hall in their room. Now it is just another part of this new life I have gotten used to.
A few people in town have not been able to handle the stress. Some of them have barricaded themselves into their homes, refusing to speak to or see anyone. We take turns putting food and water for them on their porches. So far, the food continues to disappear daily – I’m not sure what we will do if it stops.
Others have completely snapped, walked into the forest and vanished. There was some talk of going to look for them after the third one disappeared into the thick green curtain that surrounds the town, and one group even tried. They didn’t make it very far before they came running back wide-eyed with extraordinary stories to tell about what they had seen. A lot of their stories were very familiar to Cam’s and mine, but most people seem to have already forgotten our adventures from those first few days. Honestly, that doesn’t hurt my feelings much.
Slowing down to a fast walk as I head into the area of town that most now call the Town Square, I look around and smile. It is actually just one of the bigger intersections in what was a residential area before The Move. Several have made it into a meeting place.
Since nothing electric or with an electric charge that came with us works there is really no use anymore for the wide streets through town. It only made sense to repurpose some of the areas after all the dead cars had been pushed to the junkyard. And here they have done just that. They gathered up several fire pits and metal trash cans from the surrounding houses and put them in groups of seating throughout the area. Around the fire pits they have placed a motley collection of seating – there are metal chairs, folding chairs, kitchen and dining room chairs, and even a few recliners and hay bales scattered around. At the edges of the intersection, there are piles of lumber to be burned. Most of it has been gathered from the worst of the houses that are beyond livable, because of missing roofs that were not replaced in time; or the privacy fences and decks that were destroyed.
Right now, in the light of day, it looks like a slightly organized mess. In the firelight at night, though, it looks warm and inviting with people milling in between groups and the light sound waves of conversation and laughter floating on the air. Some nights you could even smell hot dogs being cooked over a few of the fires as a treat for the younger kids until they finally ran out. Just about every night you can count on 20-30 survivors gathered here talking about their day.
When the evening gatherings first began it was just a scattered few that didn’t care if they were taken by the lights. They would sit in the dark with no light, just waiting, only talking a rarely and about nothing important. The first night, the lights took five people from the intersection. The second night, they took three. Then it was an entire week before the lights came back and several more people had joined the original group in the street thinking it was safe.
That night we lost nine people to the lights. I can still remember the screaming as the lights came and started taking people. Even knowing where they were going, it was horrific to watch. I was there, standing 20 feet away from the nearest corner when it started. People scattered in all directions trying to run from the rays raining from the sky, you could watch the beams follow them. There was no getting away from it unless you were one of the lucky few to either make it to a nearby house, or were ignored by them.
After that, the lights never came back. Even so, it still took several weeks before the large gatherings started. The ones that wanted to be taken had been. Everyone that was left wanted to stay here unless they could go back home. They were terrified of the night because it held such an unknown.
Eventually, people broke free of their fear and started to gather again. It was only natural for them to seek each other out to give, and receive, comfort and hope.
I still have never joined them. Instead, I stand in the shadows at the edge of the firelight watching and listening from afar. I’m sure those gathered can see me with the flickering firelight shining on my downturned face. But, for the most part, I do my best to avoid the majority of those left and they typically respect that. The exceptions are Cam, Jennifer, and Tom. Almost everyone has now heard that I had contact with the natives – the natives that no longer come into town. Some have even heard about Kaelyn and Jayvon and how they are living with a different set of natives. From the questions I get thrown at me occasionally when I’m in public, I recognize that no one else knows the entire story except Cam and Jennifer. Tom is just respectful enough to not ask. I appreciate him for that.
Even though I understand why everyone else wants to know what happened, I just don’t have it in me yet to rehash the sorrow I felt leaving Kae and Jay in that other village… or the pain and betrayal I felt at what Haki and Kiwi kept from me, not trusting me to do the right thing.
Slowing down even more as I come up to my house, I have to smile. In the last two months, Cam and I have put a lot of work into making this place livable again. In between working in the gardens, organizing supplies at the store, and learning about how to live in this new world it is basically all we have done.
All of the windows now have wooden shutters that actually open and can be closed and locked from the inside. Some we made from scraps of wood found around town, but a few are actual shutters taken from abandoned houses. They give the house a cute patchwork appearance with the different colors they all have. They are much more effective to block out the night than the taped curtains we used for the first few weeks, and the gaps in the boards help ventilate the fire we use for light every night in the main room of the house.
On the roof, we used techniques similar to what I saw in the village where I left Kae and Jay. Using vine found growing everywhere at the edge of the jungle, we strapped together the huge leaves growing in the trees next to my house and in most neighboring yards. Once we had large mats of five to six leaves, we hauled them up to patch the large holes made by the tornado only leaving a single opening in the main room for the fire. I want to continue placing the mats until the entire roof is covered just because it makes the house look like it belongs. Cam just frowns at me and shakes his head when I mention it, though, so I don’t think it is going to happen soon.
Most of the houses around us have made similar repairs to their own houses. As the changes have been slowly made all over, the look and feel of the town has become more and more native to the jungle and looking less and less like a small rural Kansas town. Looking down the block, I can see how in a few more months and none of this would be recognizable to those left behind if they were actually able to see it. Besides the changes the survivors have made, all the plants changed to foliage native to this land when we moved and the growth started overtaking parts of some buildings and houses before we could stop it.
As I walk up to our porch, I can hear hammering from inside. Curious what Cam is up to now, I forgo my normal extensive cool down stretches and quickly stretch my calves on the steps as I make my way up them. Before I run on into the house, I quickly one by one pull my heels up to my butt giving the front of my thighs a quick stretch as well. I’m anxious to see what he is doing, but with no real doctor in town I don’t want to risk a serious injury.
As I enter the kitchen and look around, again I’m shocked at how normal everything looks. My mom’s bar height wooden table is sitting the corner next to the picture window, the chairs neatly tucked under it and the napkin holder in the middle; the refrigerator is still against the wall by the door to the deck and still has the monthly calendar and pictures held in place by magnets on the side; the gas stove is nestled between the pantry and sink even though it, and the refrigerator, are both useless at this point. Until you start looking closely you would never know anything had happened. Then you start to notice the freshly burned candles on the table and the counters, the lack of glass in the windows, and the absolute silence from the appliances and it all comes back. I’m not sure why we haven’t moved the appliances out and to the junkyard like so many others have. I guess because it seems so final that we are stuck here and not going home.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The pounding from the other room brings me back to why I came into the house. I slowly make my way through the dining room and down the hall in search of Cam, opening shutters as I go to chase away the gloom. It is strange that Cam didn’t open them when he got out of bed, as the windows are now our only source of light.
“Cam?” I can’t think what he would be working on now, especially without my help. He knows I don’t want to be dependent on him so we made the to-do list together. The list is a long one, but we had agreed to do as many together as we can. I mentally go over the list again and still can’t figure it out.
“In here!” I hear him holler back from the bathroom. Now I’m really confused. I can’t think of one single thing on the list for the bathroom. Since The Move the bathroom is one of the least used rooms in the house. With no water there just isn’t much you can do in there except maybe change clothes, but we both use our bedrooms for that. I even use my bedroom to wash with the leaves Kiwi taught us about.
Walking up to the doorway I peek in, “What are you doing in here?” I find him standing on a ladder that is pushed up to about a six-inch hole in the ceiling in front of the shower. He is in the process of nailing what looks like a bracket to the wall. Tubing is coiled on the floor and goes up the wall, through the bracket, and into the ceiling through the hole.
Now I am completely confused.
“I was hoping to have this done before you were finished with your run. But, since you are here now, you can help.” I just raise my eyebrows at him. “Trust me, you will love this when it is done.” He gives me a sideways smile.
“Okay, then what do you need me to do?”
He crawls down off the ladder and turns to me, “I’m going up on the roof and I’m going to need to pull up some more of this tubing. Make sure I don’t pull too much. I don’t want it to come through that bracket.” I nod my understanding. I’m still confused, but this sounds like an easy enough job.
He leaves the room and I move further into the room while looking around, trying to figure this out, but I don’t see anything else different in the room. I’m just as confused as I was a few minutes ago. Eventually, I faintly hear Cam yelling through the hole, “Okay Rose, get ready.”
Not knowing exactly what to do, I just stand and watch the tubing as it slowly moves up the wall and through the hole. Long before the coil is even gone it stops again.
After a few minutes, I hear Cam again through the ceiling, “Hey! Put the end of the tube in the tub for me and yell if anything changes.”
“Okay” I yell back once the end of the tube is ready.
I’m starting to catch on and I’m getting pretty excited. As the water starts coming out of the tube, my excitement goes into overdrive. “Cam! There is water!” As soon as I yell the water stops flowing and I’m nervous that something went wrong. “Cam!” I listen and listen but don’t hear a response.
Just as I’m starting to worry, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn just as Cam comes through the door. “I think something broke. The water stopped.” I turn back to the tub to make sure there was still no water hoping something had changed. The disappointment is a rock in my stomach. A shower would be amazing after all this time. I can almost feel my skin yelling for it. I try to compose myself before turning back around, I don’t want to let Cam know how disappointed I am.
Before I can completely get myself in check I turn back around in shock when I hear Cam laugh under his breath. “What?” I frown at him, starting to wonder what I’ve missed.
“I wasn’t going to waste a bunch of water, so I turned it off to come down here and finish.” He then walks over to the tube and starts snaking it up and over the shower rod. I can’t stop the grin that is spreading across my face. The disappointment that was spreading through my gut is suddenly gone and my chest actually feels lighter than it has in months.
The leaves Kiwi taught us to use are great, I have even learned how to get my hair mostly clean with one. It isn’t the squeaky clean I was used to from before, but at least my head doesn’t itch! Either way, not much replaces a nice shower, even if it is obviously going to be a cold one. My confusion comes back when I see him connecting a shutoff valve to the end of the tubing. A shower will be great, but I would like more than just a stream of water on my head. Then I watch Cam as he loosens the showerhead off of the original plumbing and starts to connect it to the valve using duck tape and I start to understand.
“Where did the water come from? And all the supplies to make this work? How did you think of this and figure it all out?” My mind is racing with a million questions about this entire project. I’m having a horrible time trying to contain them and my excitement.
“If you will stop to think about it” he turns, raises his eye brow and gives me a sarcastic grin, “it does rain here just about every afternoon. And even though we catch as much as possible for drinking water, the majority of it goes into the ground. Gathering the water is the easy part. I just put a big tarp on the roof to catch the rain. Then I had to figure out how to get it down here.”
“I was just looking at the roof on my way up to the house, I didn’t see a big tarp full of water – did you hide it somehow?” I know I was just looking at our patchwork job and I can’t figure it out.
“It is around on the back side of the house. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to advertise we were collecting water on the roof.” He gestures to the tubing, “Tom found this in the back room of the lumber yard – but it is all he had, so especially don’t mention that part to anyone.”
As I watch, he uses the duck tape to attach the entire contraption to the pipe still sticking out of the wall from the original plumbing. It is the most beautiful sight I have seen in a while even though I feel a little bad we will obviously be the only ones in town fortunate enough to have a shower.
“So, how soon do I get to take a shower?” I say with a huge grin. I feel bad, but I’m still going to enjoy this!
He laughs, “let me go up and unblock the tube and you will be good to go.”
As he walks out of the room I start looking around for towels and the washing leaves. I find a left over towel in the cabinet and I rush to my room for clean clothes & hopefully a washing leaf. I find the jeans and t-shirt I set out before going running this morning laying on my bed. There is still one washing leaf from this morning on top of my dresser. I grab everything and rush back to the bathroom.
As I’m dashing back down the hall, I see Cam coming from the other end. “OK, you are all set. Just remember, you have a limited supply of water. If you run it out, you are done until it rains again.”
I run over and give him a huge hug. He lets out a startled “ouph!” in surprise. I’m so excited about a shower and I can’t believe he did this for me.
“Oh, yeah. I know, even a few seconds under running water will be wonderful!” I let go of him as a thought hits me, “Wait, maybe you should take the first shower, you worked all of this up and deserve it more than I do.” Hard as that is for me to say, I know it is the truth.
“What? No way. I did this for you.” Shaking his head, he moves down the hall, “I know how much you’ve missed your showers.” And with a sideways grin he goes around the corner and into the living room.
So excited I can hardly contain myself, I move the rest of the way into the bathroom and close the door. I stand a few seconds leaning against the door and just staring at the new shower. I had completely given up on ever taking a shower again. Moving over to the edge of the tub, I tug the shower curtain until there is just enough room for me to step in. That done, I double-check the placement of everything, the towel on the hook beside the tub, my clean clothes on the shelf beside it and the cleaning leaf on the soap tray in the shower.
Everything in place, I walk back over to the edge of the tub one more time. It has been two months since I had a shower and I’m savoring every second of the ritual that I used to rush through and take for granted. Undressing, I slowly step into the tub and pull the shower curtain closed.
Reaching up, I take hold of the shut-off valve and close my eyes. I have to keep my focus and remember to not use all of the water. As excited as I am, I know I have to save water for Cam to have a shower too.
Raising my chin and turning my face towards the ceiling, I turn the valve. Cold water rushes over my face in a chilly blast. I let out a sound sort of like a combination between a little squeal and a sigh as goose bumps cover my body. Knowing I don’t have a lot of water to use, I hurriedly wet my hair and body. I reach up and turn off the valve while grabbing for the cleaning leaf. As I start washing with the leaf, I’m amazed by the amount of suds it creates with the addition of water. Before I know it, I’m completely covered in a layer of thick white foam. Even though I know the leaves clean without water, my body already feels cleaner and gives a little shiver.
Saving my hair for last, I scrub down my entire body. Then I begin rubbing the leaf through my hair, starting with the roots and making my way down to the ends. Once I have everything suds up good, I do another scrub down using my short fingernails to scour my scalp, arms, and legs. It feels better than I even thought it would.
Once I have everything as clean as I am going to I use my hands to wipe off as many of the bubbles off as I can. I turn the water back on and start rinsing my hair. Watching it disappearing down the drain, I am a little bit disgusted by the nasty brown water swirling around my feet before vanishing. I was so proud of how clean I thought I was staying, and this is proving me wrong.
Once I have my hair rinsed, I do a super quick rinse of what is left on the rest of my body. Turning off the water, I hope I left enough for Cam to have his own shower.
Stepping out of the tub, I am astonished at how amazing I feel. I didn’t notice the foul gritty feeling my hair had gained until now when it is gone. Drying myself off with the towel, I feel like a new woman.
After putting on my clothes, I make my way down the hall to find Cam dozing on the couch.
“Hey, wake up sleepy head!” I nudge his arm and he jerks fully awake.
“Done already? I figured you would be in there a while.” He gives me his oh so sweet smile and it makes me feel even better about not using all the water.
“As great as it felt, I hurried as much as I could, I wanted to leave some water for you.” His eyes immediately light up as he sits up and swings his feet to the floor. It makes my heart feel good.
“You didn’t have to do that!” As he says this he is already rushing to get off the couch and making his way to the bathroom. I laugh to myself as he heads down the hall.
Suddenly, I remember what I am supposed to do this afternoon. As I move through the dining room I yell down the hall “I’m headed to the store to help Jennifer! Enjoy your shower!”
Cam pokes his head out of the bathroom and looks at me down the hall “What is she doing?”
“We need to inventory all of the fresh veggies and fruits coming in. I’m a little worried a lot of it might go to waste if we don’t figure something out.” I frown. It has been my worry since Kiwi told me about how the plants provide what is needed and if you take too much you will eventually kill them. I haven’t got everyone else in the town convinced yet though and they continue to pick everything in the gardens as it gets ripe.
Cam knows what I’m thinking and gives me a little frown. “It will all work out, Rosie. Try not to worry.”
Smiling back at him, I give him a little wave while heading out of the house.
Moving down the steps, I pause at the bottom enjoying the sun on my clean skin. Debating with myself, I can’t decide on taking the long way to the store so I can check on a few of the bigger gardens. All that work, putting in new gardens, watering, tending, doing everything needed to get them to flourish, is going to go to waste. Somehow I have to get everyone on board with not picking anything unless they are going to use it right then for a meal.
They all readily agreed when it came straight from Kiwi about the cleaning leaves, but for some reason they don’t listen when it comes from me about the food. I don’t want to lose a bunch of plants before they realize I’m telling the truth, however I’m afraid that is going to be what it takes.
Most are worried about the seasons here and weather changes that might be coming in the future since it is all unknown. I understand that, I’m just not willing to talk to Haki or Kiwi about it yet. So far the weather has stayed a pretty consistent mid 70’s with the only variation being an afternoon rain shower/thunderstorm almost every afternoon. And, even if the weather decided to take a sudden turn, with no way to preserve the food, the vegetables and fruits would all go to waste anyway.
Sighing to myself, I start down the street in the direction of the gardens. I know Cam would shake his head at me, but I can’t help it.
Along the way, I see several people, only a few of which acknowledge my friendly wave. I know I’ve made a lot of people mad with my refusal to talk about what happened. But right now I’m just not ready, and besides, it really isn’t any of their business. What happened then doesn’t affect anything happening now. I just wish they could see that without me having to talk about it all.
As I walk along, I think back to that day. I went inside my house with Cam while Haki walked away after promising to come back. I had no idea what was about to happen with Cam and I was so scared of what he was going to tell me. What he said, though, I would never have guessed before the conversation started.
Following Cam into the living room, I stood there waiting to see what he was going to say or do. He made a movement to come towards me but stopped after one step. Looking at me nervously he backed up to where he was before. Standing there with his hands clasped in front of him he looked like a scolded child. His shoulders were slumped forward and his eyes downcast except for when he glanced up at me through his eyelashes.
“You should probably sit down.” I eyed him warily wondering why he was being nice. He had not been happy with me the last time I had seen him. Something had to have changed drastically for his attitude to change this much and that made me even more nervous.
Walking over, I sat on the edge of the couch against the closest arm. Cam sat across from me in the chair he slept in. Was that really only two nights before? So much had changed and happened since then it seemed like it was weeks or even months ago.
“Rose, I have a lot to tell you and I need you to listen to all of it.” He was gazing at the cold fire pit as he talked, “keep an open mind for me.” He looked up and stared me straight in the eyes. The look on his face told me this was serious, so I nodded my head in agreement. Cam had let out a huge sigh as if he wasn’t sure I would agree.
“Look, while you were gone with your friends, some of their fellow villagers came to talk to us, well you actually. But since you were not here, they talked to me. Evidently, Haki has been waiting and dreaming about you for a long time.” He paused to get my reaction. Since that was something I already knew I just motioned for him to continue. “That doesn’t bother you?!” Again, I just motioned for him to go on with his story. I wasn’t ready to tell mine yet.
He had then proceeded to tell me the story Haki told me, with one huge difference.
“Rose! Hey, Rose!” I snap out of my memories with a jolt. I realize I am almost to the first large garden and Tom is walking out of it towards me waving urgently. I wave back and change my course to meet him.
“What’s up?” I’m still trying to bring my mind back from its journey down memory lane, but I don’t want Tom to know that.
“I’m worried what you predicted might be coming true. Some of the plants are starting to look bad.” This brings me back to the here and now with a forceful jerk.
“Oh no, please don’t tell me that!” I can feel my shoulders start to tense as stress sets in, “I was hoping I was wrong, but that is why I’m taking the long way to the store. How bad is it?”
He motions me to follow him, “Not too bad yet I don’t think, but I don’t know if it can be reversed or not. If they will stop harvesting the plants now, will that be enough to save them?” As he talks, we make our way into the garden and he is motioning to some of the bigger plants along the way, but I would have noticed them anyway.
One thing about this new world is, the plants are always green. Unless a leaf or a limb falls off, or is cut off of a plant or a tree, you will not see a brown leaf or a dead limb. The leaves on these plants are turning a dark crispy brown at the edges, which really makes them stand out. Even worse, there are very few that have anything on them to harvest.
All the good feelings from my shower are leaving me at a very rapid pace and my shoulders tense a little more. This is what I had feared, but had really hoped I would not see. I shake my head as he continues to point out dying plants.
“What are we going to do now? They just cannot stop the long time habit of picking things when they are ready.” I look around the garden completely helpless. Even if this makes them understand, how many other gardens are starting to die? How much is going to be lost? “Have you looked at any of the other gardens? Are others starting to die or is this the first one?”
“I’ve only looked at two so far and the other one still looks good. Maybe we will have caught it in time?” He gives me a hopeful look, I can only pray he is right.
“We can only hope. Would you mind looking at the other large gardens? If some of the smaller ones are starting to turn that isn’t a huge loss, bad but not devastating. The large ones could be a massive problem. I’m going to keep moving and see how things are at the store. I know Jennifer is feeling extremely overwhelmed.” Tom nods as he starts writing down which plants are dying in his notebook he always has on hand. I give him a little smile and wave as I head back down the road.
Deciding there is no need for me to continue on to the other large gardens, I cut my route short and start back for the grocery store. I know Tom will give me a full recount on them tonight. I also know that Jennifer will be wondering where I am. In addition to all that, I’m anxious to see how much we still have in stock for canned goods. Depending on how bad the gardens get, we may be more dependent on them than we were hoping to be. They were going to be our emergency back-up plan, but that plan might be out the window.
My mind wanders again as I continue on my way and before I know it I’m back in my memories, talking to Cam about what he learned while I was gone.
Listening to Cam through the entire story is hard, but I keep nodding to let him know that he is not telling me anything I didn’t already know. I could see the frustration on his face it is evident he had been hoping Haki had kept all this information from me.
He finally let out an aggravated sigh and blurted out “I suppose he told you about the portal home too?”
My heart stopped in my chest as I sucked in a startled gasp. My eyes must also have widened in surprise because I could see Cam register the shock on my face. He sat back in his chair and looked to the ceiling.
“Of course he didn’t tell you. That is the one thing I didn’t want to tell you either.” When he looked back at me I could see the struggle going on inside him.
“Rose, there is a portal in the jungle, not too far from the edge of town. It… they think it leads back to our world.” Here he paused, but I was still reeling too much from the unexpected blow to respond. “Like I said, they don’t know for sure, but what they do know is that it is a small portal and it has never been active until we showed up here. Even if we risked trying to go through, they don’t know if even one person would make it through okay.”
Nodding my understanding, I took a deep breath to try to respond, “Then why…” I had to stop and reorganize my thoughts before I tried again. I closed my eyes, attempting to slow down everything going through my brain, “If we can’t go through, or even if we could, why would Haki keep it from me?” I open my eyes to look at Cam as he answers, I want the truth.
“Seriously Rose? Think about it, are you really not going to try? Will you just let that portal sit there and not do anything with it?” He looked at me like he already knew the answer, and I recognized he was right. There is no way I could just let it be. I had to know. “See, Haki was right, and he is terrified to lose you. They also believe you are here to save them from something, they just don’t know what.” I looked back over at Cam and realized he knew me much better than I ever comprehended. He could read my face, and, therefore, my emotions and probably most of my thoughts.
“OK, yes! You are right. I can’t just leave it, but that doesn’t mean I’m foolish enough to try and send someone through, not unless they think it is safe.” I felt my heart breaking in my chest and almost whispered, “I can’t believe Haki didn’t trust me enough to tell me. This could mean we can let our families, our PARENTS, know that we are okay and safe. How could he keep that from me?” I look up at Cam one more time and he just shook his head.
“It might not be safe though. Using the portal at all could alert other worlds, dimensions, whatever you want to call them, that we are here. That could be bad from what they said. Really bad.” I can tell Cam is really trying to make me understand, but I still think the risks are worth it.
With only a block to go, I finally let go of the memory. I could continue down that path, but I have relived the memory a million times. Cam and I stayed up most of the night going over what the portal might mean for us, and the rest of the survivors.
The next day, when Haki showed up to talk to me, I never let him past the threshold into the kitchen. I unleashed such a barrage of words he wasn’t able to get a single word in. Once I was done, I told him to leave and never step foot in the town again, then I turned and slammed the kitchen door in his face.
Even though I have felt his presence in the jungle, I have not seen him since. For some it might not have seemed to be such a horrible thing, but he knew how worried I was about my parents. Letting them know I was okay was such a relief, even though I still don’t know if they got the note or not, at least I know I tried.
Walking up to the front door of the grocery store, I do my best to shake off the feeling of heartbreak. Jennifer has become extremely in-tune with people’s emotions since The Move and I don’t want her to have to experience what I’m feeling. She is just one of many that have had new “powers” emerge in the last few months. I can never decide if I’m glad or not that I’m not one of them.
Plastering a smile on my face and in my heart, I walk through the door.
